Another day

First 3 days of work went well. Nothing amazing to report. I'll give you guys a basic run-down on what exactly I'll be doing. So the place is called Pacific Coast Pharmacy/Integrative Health Concepts. The place isn't like a CVS where you go and can talk to a pharmacist and pick up your stuff. There are no patients that come into our office or anything like that. What we do as a whole is we get contacted by insurance companies and doctor's offices and we're told that they have patients who would like to use our services and we call the patients and set them up with accounts. We then fill orders and send the patients the supplies they need through the mail, diabetic testing supplies, urology and ostomey supplies, as well as wound care (bandages and stuff), and respiratory stuff like meds and machines and all that for people who have asthma or breathing problems. What I will be doing (my official title is Supply Coordinator) is filling orders for people, calling them if I need to, taking calls from those who run out of supplies. I'll make sure we have a current insurance authorization, that the patient is up to speed on their bill, and making sure that we have current prescriptions on each patient.
In a nut shell that's what I'll be doing. It's going well, the people are really nice, I can actually eat whatever I want while I'm at work and they have bagels, donuts, and fruit on Fridays as well as giant cakes each month for people's birthdays. Oh yeah and my manager Steve, does this thing called Fist Bump Friday. It's pretty self explanatory. It'll be fun, I wish I could take a pic of my very own cubical and show it to you guys but no phones or cameras allowed on the premises for HIPAA (patient privacy) reasons.

Yesterday (Saturday) we had a ward temple day, it was the first time Dj and I had had the chance to go to the temple in about six months so it was pretty exciting. We went with our good friends the Applins. It was great, we even saw my Aunt and Uncle from Bakersfield while we were there. Well, Dj got to see Colon while Shanyn and I were changing and then we got to go over and see Susan, who had volunteered to be a babysitter. It was great to see her, she's like my surrogate Mom and I love her so much. Everything went off without a hitch, we were even going to stop at a sit down restaurant on the way home and just enjoy ourselves. But alas, it was not to be. Not even a block from the temple we found out that we had a screw in the front passenger tire. Because we had 200ish miles home we didn't want to chance driving all the way back on it. So long story short, with the help of AAA, we got Brad's spare (which was luckily a full size spare) and slowly made our way back to SLO. Yeah, we didn't get home until almost 10. It was a day full of every sort of emotion and I'm grateful that Heavenly Father kept us safe and let us experience the beauty of the temple before throwing that little trial of patience at us. I LOVE THE TEMPLE!

Anyways.
And then there was today. So let me give some background about the SLO I ward. We've been there about a year and a half and there are people who still have no idea who I am. I've given a talk, I've gone to activities, I try and say hi or smile at people but they still for some reason don't always know who I am. My only real friend to sit with me in Relief Society is Shanyn, all the other young newly married people have callings in Young Women's or Primary. And today I found out that they sucked her in to YW. Yeah.

Yeah....
Let's just say that I sort of fought back tears for the rest of the day.
The week before last the Applins had been out of town and so when I had gone to RS I felt so awkwardly alone and so many people mistook me for Shanyn that I felt a lot of anxiety so I hid in the hallways by myself until church was over. So today when Shanyn left for YW I started to feel that anxiety. I tried to smile at people and was just hoping and praying that someone would come and sit next to me and help ease my anxiety. But again, alas....
I got up after the lesson started and hid in the bathroom and then the library and just read one of the manuals they had given out early. When I got home from church I cried. Pretty pathetic but I've been trying harder to smile and say hello to people, even sitting where other women usually sit in the hopes that they'll sit next to me and that we can talk a little. My efforts haven't been working obviously. It's hard because I've been in wards that are so welcoming and someone will always sit next to you and talk to you and now in this ward I don't feel that. It sure makes it hard to go to church some days but I know it's the right thing to do. I'm happy that Shanyn has this chance to grow and teach those girls and take on this new challenge the Lord has given her but I sure am sad that he took one of my best friends away from me.

That's something I need to learn a whole lot of: that the gospel requires service and that I can't stand in the way just because I feel lonely or insecure.