Eternal Perspective

This week was supposed to be the end to what I've been coining as 'hell week' at work. Please don't be offended by the name, it really was the worst seven days of my 11 months so far at this job. For about two months I was training with the authorizations and eligibility guys to take over his job for seven of the longest, torturous work days of my life. So on top of my daily duties I needed to take on all of his. I survived. Barely, but I did it and I am now the official back up. Luckily for me Donny, the auth guy, didn't get lost on his road trip to Idaho and back and came back to work.

Thursday was my first day of doing only my work again and it glorious.
It came to an abrupt end though, as we came home from work and learned to our utter heartbreak that a good friend had passed away that morning in her sleep. She was one of those people who just loved life and adored her husband and children. Even with five kids I remember her talking about how much she was in love with her husband and her life. Nothing got her down. She loves Disneyland, her best friend Leah, taking photos, and kissing her husband. She's thirty years old and she has five kids under the age of 5 with twin boys who aren't yet a year.
There is nothing that makes me cling to Dj harder than the thought of spending the rest of my life on earth without him. There is nothing that makes me more grateful for my eternal marriage than coming face to face with the idea of eternity in the wake of someone's death. This will be our second funeral in the past few months and I am heartbroken for Mike and Delany, Natalie, Kherrington, Daxton, and Parker. I know Heavenly Father will help them through it, I know that there are purposes in all that He does, it's having the eternal perspective that is difficult.

With all the things that I've had to experience in life, all the trials, heartbreaks, and mountains I have had to climb I've always come out on top. It's been painful, uncomfortable, miserable, and downright impossible at times but I look back and know that I am blessed.
Death, poverty, and the depravities of men will come our way. Terrible things that we never imagined could happen to us will indeed happen to us. They'll push us down, beat us until there is nothing left and our light is almost gone. The real decision for us comes in whether we choose to stand again. We can't let our wounds fester and infect us, we must let them scar over and heal. Life is hard. Good people experience bad things. But we are loved and cared for by someone more intelligent and more powerful than us and despite the things that he doesn't protect us from He loves us and wants the best for us.
So this weekend, I think of all my heartbreaks, all my triumphs, and all my blessings. I will hold onto Dj a little tighter, love him a little more, and look for the silver linings in the dark rain clouds that may come our way.



Love you Sharla and Mike and all your lovely kiddos, there will always be a special place in my heart for your family because of the kindness you've always shown to me.